Wednesday, August 4, 2010

'Barefoot Bandit' Dislikes Attention, Doesn't Want Movie Deal

'Barefoot Bandit' Dislikes Attention, Doesn't Want Movie Deal

One of the signs of being OLD is rooting for the cops to shoot suspects instead of apprehending them.

Basically, when you're OLD you want every episode of Cops to end with the shirtless guy getting hauled off to the morgue, not hauled off to jail.

So it goes without saying that I wanted the Colton Harris-Moore, the infamous "Barefoot Bandit," taken dead not alive.

I mean just look at the kid's picture. He's the text book definition of a "punk."

Even if he wasn't in police custody, even if he was an upstanding human being who read to the blind and baked cookies for lepers, his photo would still inspire intense hatred and violent tendencies.

The 19-year-old hoodlum allegedly stole planes, luxury cars, and yachts and in doing so eluded law enforcement for 2-years.  He was finally apprehended, safely, in the Bahamas.

For some reason, his crime wave made him a hero to thongs of dolts and neanderthals on the internet. Sadly, there are way too many people in this world of such diabolically low character that they can't help but to romanticize and idealize criminals.

There you have it. What more could you want in villain?

Well, in true CHM fashion he "zigs" just when you think he'll "zag:" the kid doesn't want his story told and he doesn't like the attention he's getting.

"He wanted me to give the message to the public that what he did was not romantic, that he shouldn't be a role model," said his lawyer John Henry Browne. "He actually doesn't like the attention he is getting."

Damn you CHM! Just when I was about to throw darts at your picture you wax philosophically through your lawyer.

"He felt if he told [his story] or gave it away, it would no longer be his story," continued Browne. "Almost like, if you look in a mirror, your soul is stolen. It was really interesting."

The kid broke the law and he must pay for that, but at least he's not compounding what he did wrong but whoring himself out to Hollywood.

It's obvious that Colton-Harris Moore has more character than his criminal-worshiping fans. Too bad he didn't have enough character to keep himself out of prison.

Of course, being that I'm OLD I'm also cynical.  These musings could actually be laying the groundwork for his defense and not at all a testament of his sagacious conscience.  Time will only tell.

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