Comcast

I waited all day, all week and all summer to watch the opening game of the NFL season. The defending Super Bowl Champions New York Giants battling the Washington Redskins. Well, somewhere early in the second quarter, Comcast decides to stop serving their customer. The cable, including the internet, was off for two and half hours. When it finally came back on there were two minutes left in the game.

In this HD world, I didn’t have an antenna to watch the game on broadcast television. Fortunately, one of my three televisions still gets broadcast. I was so “excited” that I got to watch the game in the unused spared bedroom—you know the one with the sewing machine and the old luggage. The reception was so bad, I felt like I was watching the game through a thin veil of gabardine. The only three hours of the whole firkin week you had to maintain service and you blew it Comcast. Thanks for nothing!

Commercial

When you’re old you have the obligation to complain about things that others can’t complain about. For instance, you can complain about soft ice cream, automated telephone operators and confusing menus at fast-food restaurants. Television commercials are also prime targets. Old people like to complain that they are too loud, on too often and have nothing to do with the product.

While their complainants are usually well founded, they are such obvious observations that young people need not waste their time complaining. All young people know television commercials are too loud, air too often and seldom reflect the product. They don’t complain because they also know the nature of television commercials is to be too loud, to air too much and to have little to do with the product.

Since I’m Old I can complain about television commercials. The one in particular I want to complain about are RV commercials. Not one commercial in particular but all of them. They are loud, boring, and obnoxious and they make me violent. They usually have an irritating announce yelling about low prices and balloons for the grandkids. They do everything but entice me to purchase a Winnebago.

Olympics

Before the Beijing Olympics started, I was on record as predicting they would be the worst Olympics since the ’72 Munich games. While I hate to root for bad things to happen, I would still rather be right than wrong. Unfortunately, it looks like I’ll be way off on this one. The Chinese are doing a bang up job and NBC, despite their overtly feminine broadcast, is doing a good job too. Damn!

I know an American was killed but that was just a friendly reminder that crazy people live everywhere. It was very sad and a tragedy. The judging has been horrible in gymnastic, but they’re always bad.

I thought the time difference would screw things up but I don’t think it has. We are pretty good at avoiding media and avoiding results. There is always so much to watch that I haven’t a clue when things actually occurred. I just turn on the television or log onto the website and the events are there. I just wish NBC would tell us more about this Michael Phelps guy? I think he's a swimmer?

oldTV

All this week I’ll be looking at “oldTV.” That's not television that’s old, but television that old people watch. This kind of television is generally marked by the following: lack of relevance, void of loud music, reaffirms the world has gone to hell and Andy Griffin.

Today is Matlock (okay it’s a cliché but you try to write a blog entry everyday).

Matlock aired on NBC from 1986 to 1992 (it replaced the A-Team) and then the show ran on ABC from 1992 to 1995. There are 195 episodes of Matlock and Andy Griffin starred in every one (the only actor to do so). Matlock spun off the show Jack and the Fatman which in turned spun off Diagnosis: Murder. Executive Producers Dean Hargrove (show creator) and Fred Silverman were also responsible for Father Dowling Mysteries and Perry Mason. BTW, Matlock studied at Harvard.

Part of the mythology behind Matlock being the show for old people may be due (in part or in full) to The Simpsons.

Throne

One of the great things about being old, besides being the object of the youth’s mistrust and angst, is gaining wisdom. One of the things I’ve learned in my old age is why the toilet is called the throne. It’s called a throne because old people sit on it as much as a king sits on his throne. I would put a television in the bathroom, but I don’t want to watch that much T.V.. I bring a lunch in there; it saves me a trip.