Helen Thomas Retires Due To Remarks About Israel

Helen Thomas Retires Due To Remarks About Israel

Helen Thomas, who is 89-years-old and has covered 10 presidents as a White House reporter, has recently retired due to some inflammatory remarks she made about Israel that were caught on camera.

The Middle Earth-looking journalist said Israeli Jews should "get the hell out of Palestine" and "go home" to Germany, Poland and America.

Worse yet, she said this to a rabbi who was accompanied by his 17-year-old son and a friend, both of whom were wearing yarmulkes.

Oy vey!

As someone who is OLD this is very distressing.

No, we're not talking about her disdain for a major American alley, or her disparaging comments about a thriving democracy surrounded by a cesspool of tyranny, or the revealing of her anti-Semitism.

What's distressing about this incident is Thomas is OLD and she was punished for speaking crazy.

Crazy speech, especially slightly racist crazy speech, is one of the perks of being OLD.

If you're OLD and you can't talk crazy then what's the point? It's one of the few perks of being OLD. You have crazy speech, eating dinner at 4pm, and defecating in your pants.

And as we all know, society has no use for the OLD anyway--they are obsolete, slow, and they don't buy products sold on primetime television.

The OLD have nothing new to offer and nothing new to proclaim.

So why should anyone care what they have to say?

It's a sad day in America when an 89-year-old is held accountable for the crazy things she says. Getting OLD is becoming more and more arduous every day.

Michelle Obama Host Mother's Day Tea At White House

On Friday, May 7, 2010, First Lady Michelle Obama hosted a Mother’s Day Tea at the White House. Her distinguished guests were the mothers, daughters, and granddaughters of those that had previously resided at Pennsylvania Avenue.

During her speech, Mrs. Obama got emotional when she described the “beautiful experience” of raising her daughters.

Personally, I think mothers are overrated.

When confronted with the evidence that my mother gave me life, I always reply, "I never asked to be born."

However, that's neither here nor there. A more compelling topic is what precisely should we celebrate on Mother's Day?

On Mother's Day, should we celebrate all mother's or just our mother?

Now that I'm OLD, I realize that Mother's Day should be a vertical celebration, not an horizontal one. That means you celebrate your mother and/or grandmother not people you know that are mothers.

You take your mom to brunch. You don't take your sister who is a mother to brunch.

You give your grandmother a card. You don't give your cousin who is a mother a card.

Why?

We should celebrate mothering, the verb, not being a mother, the noun. Anyone can be a mother, only a few actually excel at it.

You could make the case that doing both is a possibility however the unique and odd relationship between mother and offspring makes that difficult, i.e. its creepy to celebrate the mothering exploits of someone that's not your mother.

Besides, you can honor other mothers besides your own with a simple and cheap, "Happy Mother's Day" greeting.

And that brings us to the ultimate reason why Mother's Day should be a vertical celebration, buying cards for every mother you know is too expensive!