Despite being OLD and crotchety, I try to have an open mind.
For instance, I don't want a tattoo, but if you want one go ahead.
I don't like watching soccer, but if you like the World Cup than that's fine.
However, there is one event that I can not be so open-minded about and that's parades.
I mention this because today is the Rose Festival's Grand Floral Parade, an annual event in Portland, Oregon.
It's schlock that's worse than a root-canal. I'd rather watch a beheading than one second of that god-awful trek of rosa.
If you attend a parade, or worse yet, watch one on television you have a mental deficiency.
Ever since the demise of radio, the parade has been the worst form of entertainment known to man.
How can you possible give up a large portion of your day to watch people walk in the middle of the road?
The only difference between a parade and the line at the movie theater is marching band music.
Yes, I know parades have floats but aren't those things usually made by PTA members and volunteers? Sorry, I don't care to look at anything made by housewives and/or the retired.
Don't give me the excuse that you only attend parades for your kids. You're the parent. You're the boss. And besides that's what the word "no" is for.
Perhaps my utter dislike of parades makes me closed-minded but I really don't care. There is no insult you can hurl that will ever make me reevaluate my opinion about parades.
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