Nudity

Nudity is not cool. It’s not natural and I don’t want to see it…unless…I’m…well… you know. The human body is ugly. The genital region of the human body is downright atrocious—don’t even get me started on elbows. Sure, about one percent of the population looks “somewhat passable” naked. But half of those are dudes and I don’t want to see their hang-down and the other half ruin it the first time they bend over to pick up a nickel. Take your new-age-hippy-beatnik-tree-hugging sensibilities to Old Navy and buy some frickin’ cargo pants. Nudity is gross (unless you’re very drunk). If nudity wasn’t so disgusting, why did God put a fashion department in Sears?