Doughnut

I saw a public display of affection yesterday. An adult couple was making out in the parking lot of Burgerville. It wasn’t a “good bye” kiss or an “I’ve missed you” smooch; it was a lustful make out session. Add to that, a passionate, dramatic, and longing gaze directly into the eyes—I also believe the adult male was petting the head of the female. You’ll see an overstated display of affection, as mentioned, rather frequently, and usually in the most inappropriate places: malls, grocery stores, ball games, bakeries. I don’t stare lovingly into the eyes’ of my significant other when we’re alone, much less in line at the movie theater. The only thing I stare lovingly at is a doughnut. If you can’t put your adolescent love on hold long enough to buy a pair of khaki’s at the Gap, maybe you shouldn’t leave the house. No one likes to see it. No one thinks you’re cute. No one thinks your relationship is going to last. Please stop fawning over one another in public and get back to leering disappointingly and muttering insults under your breath, like the rest of us do to the people we love.