Rascals

Ever been to a grocery store during the middle of the day during the middle of the week? It’s like going to a rascal derby. I went to the grocery store around 2pm yesterday and there must have been a dozen of them roaming the aisles looking for bologna to fry. The best part of the experience was the honking. I kept hearing one of those motorized chairs beeping. I kept thinking to myself “that’s one ballsy elder.” Later, I learned that the many models beep when in reverse—I was disappointed.

The Old Ones using them were all very polite, although some had the meanest, foulest scowl you could imagine. I guess I would be looking sour if I needed wheels to get around in a grocery store. They did cause a lot of congestion. At one point I went all the way down to the other end of the aisle to get around them. They tend to pop the clutch and talk to the staff. Fortunately I’m not old enough (yet), to find grocery store employees stimulating conversationalists.

One Item

Last night I was very thirsty so I went to the grocery store and purchased a six-pack of beer and a half case of Vanilla Coca-Cola One. Now, the beer (especially since I bought beer in bottles) and the time of day (it was after 8 p.m.) prevents my actions from being labeled as completely “old,” but my supermarket excursion is extremely close to being quintessential old man behavior. Old men are always going to the grocery store to buy one or two items—for no other reason than its on sale. I worked at a supermarket for a summer and nearly every day an old man would come through my check stand (never the express lane) and purchase a pound of 80% learn hamburger or a 12-pack of Diet Rite, or a few packages of bark coating. It is clear to me, that I’m only a few years away from venturing to the grocery store (before 4 p.m. because I have to be home in time to watch the local news) and buying one head of lettuce.

Parking Lot

My favorite eatery just repaved their parking lot. This repaving means when I use their drive up window, I won’t have to dodge potholes. Their parking lot was in dire need of repair. What surprised me about repaving effort was how much it thrilled me. It not only put a smile on my face but made me feel truly happy. How sad have I become that resurfacing a parking lot is the fulcrum of the well-being? Now if my favorite grocery store would fix their wobbly shopping carts I could become engulfed in permanent bliss.