Young People Shouldn't Vote

The biggest mid-term election in the history of humanity is Tuesday.  It's a day when all eligible Americans can employ their greatest right--their right to vote.  And with their vote they can change the course of history or keep the course the same.

With that being said I hope not everyone votes.  No, I'm not one of those smarmy democrats, smug comedians, or cackling hens from The View who think voting registration should be based on your ability to name every MSNBC hosts.  No, the only people I want to keep away from the polls are young people.

Young people shouldn't vote.  They don't know anything.  They have no wisdom.  They have no experience. They think the coolest candidate is the best.  They don't do any research.  they don't read the voters pamphlet.  They just vote for whoever Lady Gaga, Bono, or Jim J. Bullock tells them to vote for.

I don't know youth voting statistics but if I did I bet they would reveal that young people vote for all the wrong candidates. It would surely show that youths vote for candidates who raise taxes, increase taxes, and not lower taxes.

Look at the 2008 election.  Every young person old enough to hang a chad was out there with their Obama jersey and their Barrack badges swooning at the Second Coming.  Voting for him was supposed to be a transcendent moment.  He was the Savior after all.

Fast forward two years and just about everyone who was in the Chosen One's corner is now running away.  Hardly any of the democratic congressional incumbents are running on The One's legislative accomplishments, The Savior didn't unite the country he divided it further, thanks to The Messiah the terrorists not only hate us but they think we're a joke too, and the economy has only gotten worse.

Fortunately, his ascendancy caused most of those juvenile punks to learn a valuable life lesson.  It's a lesson that OLD people already knew.  That lesson is every election offers voters the choice between the lesser of two evils.  There is no Savior.  There are no candidates that can walk on Lake Michigan.

While the 2008 election had an historical element, never again will the annuals of history matter.  From now on you're just voting for politicians.  You were before but you were just too ignorant to realize.

That is why voter registration should be left to those who are old enough to remember The Rock as a wrestler, The Daily Show with Craig Kilborn, and Betty White before she was kitsch.

If we leave voting to the OLD people we might be able to avoid a repeat of 2008.

Hypocrisy

A local Republican politician and pro-life supporter is accused of fathering a child with his girlfriend and then paying for her abortion. A friend of mine pointed out the hypocrisy and asked why all hypocrites seem to be Republicans. I answered by saying Republicans take moral stances and when you stand for something it’s easy to fall down. Democrats have no morals, they stand for nothing (or everything) and therefore can’t be hypocrites—I know, I know I’m generalizing, but you get my gist.

I look at the politicians actions in another way. It’s very easy, in comfortable surrounding and from a safe distant, to champion firm and fixed positions on controversial issues. It is entirely another matter when you’re involved in one of those controversial issues. Meaning, it’s easy to be pro-life when your daughter HASN’T been impregnated by her rapist; it’s easy to be pro-choice when your daughter WILL survive childbirth; it’s easy to oppose euthanasia when a parent ISN’T dying and suffering from a horrible disease; it’s easy to support euthanasia when a parent IS dying and suffering from a horrible disease. Issues are always easier on the macro level then on the micro level; important and life altering decisions are always easier when you have no personal involvement in the outcome.

Whether or not the aforementioned politician should have or shouldn’t have been implicit in his girlfriend’s abortion (after all these are just allegations at this point) is irreverent to my point. What I’m trying to say is it’s easier to be for or against something when that something doesn’t involve you. That is real lesson one should take from the actions of hypocrites.