Mustache

I’m so sick of hearing about New York Yankee Jason Giambi’s moustache or lack thereof. But before I continue let me make it clear that I'm not writing about about his stache, I’m writing about people who write about his stache. Please stop, it’s meaningless, ridiculous and sophomoric and whatever reference you come up with to describe how he looks with hair on his lip you can rest assure is obvious and unfunny. Stop it now.

To catch everyone up, Giambi grew the mustache to get out of a batting slump. It worked, but he soon fell into another slump. So to get out of that slump he shaved off his mustache. (Turn on sarcasm meter) What a genius! Someone call Cooperstown (Turn off sarcasm meter).

Who cares? If this guy was a Royal or a Mariner—hell, if he was a Ray or a Philly—not one sports hack or one sports network would waste one second breaking down his lip fur. Regardless of how fiercely the east coast media syndicate tries to force everything Yankees down our throats, I know one thing for certain: facial hair has nothing to do with how well a batter rakes. If it did John Muir and Billy Gibbons would be batting .336.