Tonight on American Idol the contestants are performing inspirational songs. Not looking forward to that. The only thing American Idol inspires me to do is to listen to better music once the show is over. I don’t need happy handsome kids singing spiritually uplifting tunes. I need them butchering legitimate pop songs so I can ridicule the little brats and feel better about myself. Either way, I hope David sings a ballad—he’s so dreamy!
What Is Old?
Old has nothing to do with age. Instead, Old is the condition of rejecting new ideas, longing for the past, scorning the future, and refusing to update one's view of the world.
Mission Statement
This blog’s mission is to accurately chronicle the descent of a once happy, well-adjusted adult as he tumbles helplessly into the abyss of bitterness, hatred and callousness. To fulfill this mission, no words are barred, no tradition is held sacred and no insult is deemed insensitive. As technology marches forward, man’s aging process is constantly being accelerated by social, economic and artistic changes. Medicine is prolonging life and slowing down the aging process, but society keeps inappropriately coveting youth by continually redefining what is considered young. How can a man cope in a world where his body stays younger longer but his culture says he’s older sooner? This blog will attempt to answer those questions. And if space allows we will also have pictures of cute cats!
Search This Blog
Things You Can't Do When You're Old
- Drink heavily
- Stay up all night
- Hope
- Fall in love
- Try new things
- Touch your toes
- Dream
- Eat spicy foods
- Improve
- Drive at night
Why Being Young Is Better Than Being Old
- You have no shame
- Understand new technology
- You're faster
- Can buy things you don't need
- Can be sexy w/o being creepy
- Not bitter yet
- Watch movies in theaters
- Your ears work
- Can eat anything you want
- To stupid to know better
Breaking News: CBS News
Reader's Digest
Reader's Digest: Jokes
Reader's Digest: Cartoons
>
