Sixteen

Recently a friend of the family turned 16. Her mother asked us to jot down some encouraging words for her that would later be complied into a giant collage. Sadly, I couldn’t think of anything positive to write. I am so old and bitter that the only thoughts that entered my mind were along the lines of: “it’s only downhill from here” and “enjoy your youth while you’re still young” and “get ready; bitterness and scorn will slowly start to creep into your life and consume your innocence.” Feeling these were inappropriate things to say to a 16-year-old, I decided the best course of action was to phone the young child, tell her I despise her existence and if I ever saw her again I would devour her soul. Thankfully, this avoided any uncomfortable moments my written messages would have created. While growing old means you are a useless waste of life, it also means you’re wiser too.